Playing the field double standard: stud verses slut

Team Stud:  Home Team Advantage

With shows like The Bachelor, playing the field seems to hit prime time with a vengeance. So why is it in the twenty-first century we still hold onto the age-old water cooler whispers of who’s dating who at the same time?

Traditionally, men are high-fived for their multiple escapades. There is a belief in some guys’ heads that “the perfect woman does not exist,” so by dating around they are keeping their options open. By dating multiple women, men are able to sample a variety of personalities to get a more concrete idea of what they like (and don’t like) in women.  In other words, men look at women as a buffet where they can test that which looks appealing and then go back for more of what they like without wasting anyone’s time.

Why should this be wrong? As a young man, you should not settle too quickly into a relationship before you really know who you are. Besides, by “playing the field” you present yourself as a challenge and women love challenges. As an independent, busy or unattainable “catch,” a guy does not seem desperate for any one woman’s attention and he becomes a demand item. Women are extremely competitive with other women, and you become a “hot commodity” – instead of a male pig. Besides, the added mystery of the chase to tame presents a man as sexually confident, the “harem” that desires the bad boy type. It becomes the icing on the cake attracting even more ladies and a win-win situation in the love department for the guys.

Team Slut: As the “VISITOR”

So let us substitute men and replace it with women. Is the playing field the same? Absolutely not! The whispers start behind her back and guys place her into a category that no woman wants to be in (unless she’s armed with a little black book in D.C.). Then there are the other women to contend with and trust me when I say, they are no supporters in the bleachers for “overly popular with the guys” type of women. Let’s face it, other women don’t even call her a woman or lady for that matter– and you can probably guess the guys don’t either. She becomes a certain piece of anatomy from behind.

Women who play the field and date multiple men are perceived as sluts, easy and only good for a short period of time (usually lasting until daybreak). As a young lady keeping her “options” open, why does it become wrong for her to figure out what she wants (and does not want) in a man? Come on, women like a good buffet too! It is the same thing that men do, so why can it not be acceptable by both sides of the gender pool to taste test what they see and then go back for seconds when they find something appealing to their palettes?

It is because, traditionally, women are dating for the long term. It is with that long term relationship in mind that women should consider multiple relationships so they can make the right decision that will last. It is important that women take more care in how they go about “keeping the options open” and not fall prey to the negativity associated with the dating debate.

While the double standard in dating and “playing the field” will probably never go away, there are important issues to keep in mind. First, that double header date night is going to get expensive. Second, women can lose their hearts just as fast as men can. Third, you and only you have to live with the way those “wild oats” settle in the pit of your stomach!

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